schepab

So its day 3 of this thing called a break from Damien…lol And Ive lasted without texting and without calling, which I am feeling pretty good about. Its not that I dont think about him, or miss him and have thoughts in my head that I wish I could call and talk to him but the matter of the fact is I said I was going to do something and so far I have done what I said I was going to do…which makes me really feel like I am moving beyond my past and Im getting there…slowly. As well with my diet, its just started for me, and I do have times where I want to eat those sweets and just binge on a bag of potato chips but I havent, if I want to eat I will eat fruit or something of that kind. I did feel yesterday that I had more intake then I should have but Im also on my period which I feel like Im always wanting to eat…I really need to stop that. Yesterday for dinner I had a chicken fajita rollup and a baked potato…I just felt like it was not agood choice…maybe I should have gone with the vegetables instead of the potato…lol:(

So, I am on this break, I have less than 2 weeks that I graduate from college and I do know where my life is directing right now. Its just like everything that I am so used to being there is not there anymore and its just very hard to all take in. Im having to move out of my condo, and my sister and I have been living together for 2 years now which has helped us so much, Im leaving my team something I have had full commitment to for the past 4 years and its hard….Im trying to look at this as me just moving on to bigger and better things but I guess just for 4 years of my life I looked at what I was doing and who I was around as one the greatest things that I have done.

Im nervous about being out of my comfort zone, and I need to trust that no matter what that I will be ok…maybe that is whatt the 2 weeks is really about…not that Im away from him and trying to punish him and so forth…im working on myself and proving to myself that I can be away from him because I havent been alone for such a long time, and when I was alone I do feel I was a very strong person. yes, you want a boyfriend …la la la and so forth and so on but I realize now I was just fine without it…lol crazy teenager….now I know Damien is positive to me, yeah we both have our past but thats the past and if hes goign to forgive me for mine, and I forgive him for his, beyond that I truly believe he loves me and I jsut have to trust that….its just so hard in today’s society because all you see on tv and in the news is people cheating and lying…and not to say I dont lie but if you love someone why would you do it….