Archive for August, 2008

It’s finally here!!…..sort of..:)

SO I am officially done and I am an Auburn Graduate…I didnt think it would feel this good..but DAMN it feels good! Im pretty proud of all that I have accomplished.

So ive had to say goodbye to all my memories here at Auburn, and pack my life up and get ready to head back to Birmingham…So im sorry if I havent blogged lately, my life has been consumed by packing, cleaning, and so forth…

So, whats been going on well, the 2 week break is officially over Thursday, Finally…but I did talk to Damien yesterday and he knows I am coming back into town and he wanted to see me, and I was like well if were still on a break your certainly not gonig to see me..lol no matter how bad I want too…I kind of makes me feel like used, which I dont think he would do that-actually I know he wouldnt but still if were not talking were certainly not going to see each other. I do miss him though…alot

Today is my last day at work and at 1 p.m. I am driving back home! I am super excited so only a few more hours….

As far as my diet, I feel like I am slacked a little this week, Saturday I went to dinner with a friend and I had a small margarita and then last night, I hate mashed potatoes, green beens, and okra for dinner, but I didnt eat a snack in between lunch and then. and Then for lunch I had a quiznos sub and baked lays…which makes me paranoid, because I dont want to gain the weight back. I only lost 1 pound this past week, and  I didnt think one pound was alot but but I gain that back , I know im going ot be super upset, because im suppose to be going the other way..lol

Anways, I hope everyone has a super day!

Ok…Can we check that scale one more time??

I couldnt wait to get up this morning, because Saturday’s are my weigh in mornings for the week. No clothes on, just me and that scale….and the tally is……1 pound….1 pound?! how can that be….I am kind of disappointed ….I mean I was expecting 2 pounds but not only that, my goal feels so far away…Im wishing my clothes will fit better already and everytime I put on my clothes I feel dissappointed. I know I need to be patient, especially with harldy working out because I have just been working so much this week, all I have wanted to do when I get home is sleep, and not to mention how rediculously hot and humid it is outside….Im trying to be patient with everything but its hard…

I cant believe Im going to be an Auburn graduate in 2 days!….wow…Time has just gone by so fast, and it is so scary…..

Im missing Damien, I hate this break…I hate not talking to him..and Im going to be going back to Birmingham next Tuesday and its hard to think that I may not even see him when im there…lol its even worse when Im right down the street…:( I feel my insecurities trying to come back the more this break goes on, its like something inside me wants to believe theres something not good about him, maybe its just the fact that im not used to having someone treat  me good…I just want the insecurities to go away..

Im tired of being afraid..

So today is one of those days….lol I feel better than yesterday. I got through most of the day and I felt like I didnt accomplish what i wanted to do. I wanted to spend time with Katelyn and remember her and think about how positive she is for me, but I think I got scared and I couldnt get myself to concentrate…towards the end of the night it began to hit me and I couldnt get myself to fall asleep. My grandmother called me and told me they went to visit Katie at the cementary and I just lost it. I needed someone to talk too. And as most of you know Damien and I are still on that 2 week break thing, so I was trying to not talk to him…but then I thought about it- and I needed him there. So I texted him and just told him I was struggling a bit with things. He called me 2 minutes later, and I am so thankful that he did, because he made me laugh and we were able to talk about things that helped me get my mind away from being so afraid to let go. It meant so much for him to call and be there for me…..that makes me hate this  stupid break even more…but I know he needs it and he appreciates it, but its still hard.

I will officially be an Auburn Graduate the 4th! I turn in my paper for my internship and thats it! I cant believe its over, its really scary to me. Now im having to pack all of my things and move back to Birmingham- part of me is excited part of me isnt…lol Im stressed about finding a job and I really dont want to move back in with my parents to be honest, it wouldnt be smart for me to get an apartment without some type of salary coming in…lol.

As for my diet, Im beginning to crave all the bad foods, I had TCBY last night which was AMAZING….I treated myself. But I think I have been doing pretty decently so far, tomorrow is a weigh in day so I hope I lost a few more pounds!*fingers crossed*

Hope everyone is having a great day!